For years and years, I treated my body like a workhorse, I expected her to be there for me, no matter what I put her through. I push her to the point of complete burn out. I starved my body, I overworked it, I yelled curses at it, I judged, scrutinized, and condemned my body, and myself for not being the person I thought I should be, and not looking the way I thought I should look.
Overall, as sad as it is to say, I unconsciously hated my Body and rejected myself. I avoided mirrors for a very long time, and wore baggy clothes to hide my body, thinking that I would reveal it once I had a certain shape. I missed out on life trying to control my Body Image from a place of fear rather than from a place of love and health.
I have overcome hormonal imbalances, hypothyroidism, a whole array of gastrointestinal ailments (IBS, gastritis, colitis, esophagitis, etc.) depression, PCOS, adrenal burn out, and dealt with an eating disorder that lasted 20 years. I overcame all these issues by befriending, loving and listening to my body. I learnt that I am the expert at my body, and that I can’t turn my body to a doctor the way I turn my car to a mechanic for them to fix it. I learnt that my body doesn’t need a long list of medication to function because my body produces its own medicine if I provide the right environment for it.
I became my body’s best advocate, and best friend. I was able to completely let go of my negative body obsession, which I consider a Miracle! I am no longer a slave of calories and diets, I no longer think about calories, exercise for the sole purpose of losing weight, or feel guilty because I ate dessert. I go to my own body for advice about what to eat, how much to eat and how much to exercise. I listen to my body to know when I need to slow down and rest. I Have never felt so FREE and HAPPY in my own Body than Now even with quite a few more weight on. The fear of gaining weight still shows up from time to time, but it doesn’t overpower me anymore. I just acknowledge that it’s there and move on.
I learnt to love myself and my body by finding the beauty within me, by taking care of my body and providing for it. I became Beautiful, lovable and worthwhile by finding beauty, love and worth within me, regardless of the size or shape of my body and not by trying to create a beautiful body at the gym.
I am happy to say that I am in a much better place now. I feel at peace with my body, the food I eat and how I look, despite having gained weight due to adrenal burn-out and having messed up my metabolism after 20 years of constant diet restrictions and abuse to my body. Now I accept that my body is adjusting and going into a state of balance. I see the weight slowly coming off as I continue to heal.
My healing journey is not over yet, but I have a real feeling of Acceptance for how my body is now, and I continue to support her to become the best version of Myself.
How I Started Dieting
I had the fortune to be born and raised in Mexico City. Growing up in Mexico, I learnt that food is a celebration; it is a huge part of our culture, and it means family, friends, comfort, sometimes even love; it brings people together.
I always enjoyed meals cooked from scratch with the highest quality ingredients, prepared by my Mom and Grandma’. Despite eating a lot of spicy food, I had an “iron stomach” and enjoyed of very good health during my childhood and most part of my teenage years. I loved to eat! And my body loved what I ate.
However, things changed when I went on my first Diet. I was 12 years old, and I was dealing with adolescence insecurity, feelings of inadequacy, not being good enough. I remember feeling different than my siblings and then other kids in school. I was shy and introverted, and for some reason I felt that there was something wrong with me. I grew up in a dysfunctional family environment, where I never really felt safe, and I had a sense of not having control of what was going on around me.
At that time, I was only 12 years old, I didn’t know what all those feelings meant, and how to express them, I was probably not completely aware of how I felt. I used to hang out with this girl in school, who was very thin and liked to brag about it A LOT!. She pointed out to me that I should probably lose some weight so I could look like her.
Of course when somebody says that to someone who is insecure and has low self-esteem you can imagine what happened…. I was convinced that the problem was my body and food. I was convinced that if I changed the way my body looked, then I would feel good about myself, and I would somehow “fit in” the world.
So, my solution to cope with it all was to go on a 500 calorie a day diet and see how thin I could make my body. Restricting my food intake gave me a sense of control that I lacked in my life. I became anorexic very rapidly.
The thought of putting on weight was terrifying, it literally made me want to die. Now I know that what gaining weight really meant was, dealing with all those feelings of insecurity, inadequacy, not knowing my place in the world, etc. but at that time I was not able to understand those feelings.
I thought the problem was food and my body.
I began to relax a little bit, as I saw my health deteriorating and the stress I was putting on my family. I started eating more; however, for years after, I suffered the consequences of that episode in my life, and the fear of gaining weight hunted me for almost two decades of my life. During all those years, I continued to restrict myself, count calories, avoid fat, sugar, and work out obsessively. I was not feeding my body properly, and I continued to push its boundaries.
For years and years every neural pathway in my brain was conditioned to just say: Be thin! Be thin! don’t eat too much! exercise more! etc. That was the content of my brain 24/7. I would look in the mirror and I wasn’t content if I couldn’t see my ribs or my hipbones protruding. I obsessed with my stomach, and if it wasn’t flat I could be upset all day. I obsessed with reading food labels, I was terrified with any kind of fat, sugar, and pretty much any food was a threat. I had no knowledge about nutrition at that time and I was prey of the industry-driven marketing of fat-free, low sugar, “light” foods etc.
I don’t have to tell you that, it was a Nightmare!
The Consequences of Dieting
As a result of all those years of dieting, and overwhelming stress, I developed several health issues, throughout my teens, 20’s and early 30’s. I developed severe digestive disorders. I suffered from gastritis, esophagitis, IBS, and colitis; along with chronic headaches, fatigue, low energy and hormonal imbalances. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. I went through a period of suicidal depression, and finally plummeted into Adrenal Burn Out.
Before I learnt about natural health and nutrition I had become dependent on over-the-counter pain killers, antacids, acid blocker medications (omeprazole, Nexium, etc. I tried them all! as well as prescriptions from my family Doctor, all which I am certain greatly contributed to my gastrointestinal disorders and ailments.
My diet became extremely limited, as most foods upset my stomach. My levels of stress were very high from being in constant pain, my energy very low, and my sleep was of very poor quality. If you suffer from any digestive issue you would probably agree that living with a compromised digestive system is extremely exhausting.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have the understanding about the body’s wisdom and ability to heal. I thought that I needed medications to tell my body what to do, and I kept going from doctor to doctor looking for a diagnosis that could finally explain all my challenges.
Real Healing Started when I took charge of my own body and health
I have always been a very spiritual person, and enjoyed reading and learning about meditation, and other spiritual practices, but my fear of gaining weight was so strong that it took me several years to be able to apply my knowledge about spirituality to let that fear go.
I was desperate for an answer, as my life had become such a crisis. I was totally burnt out, I couldn’t eat, I had to stop exercising because I had no energy, I was in constant pain, I couldn’t sleep, and I had bouts of depression and anxiety. It was then when I realized that My attempt to be thin was gone, dieting and exercising to solve the problem were no longer an option. My body was talking to me very loudly and I was forced to deal with all the feelings, and the self-hatred that I had avoided for so many years.
It was then when I started educating myself about how the body works, the causes of digestive disorders, and the relationship between food and disease, through several books, videos, health conferences, and my own experimentation.
I discovered the amazing connection between what we eat, and how we feel and function. I don’t understand how I had never made that connection before? Discovering the healing nature of the design of the body, the power of listening to what the body needs and providing it with adequate nutrition in the form of food, joy, rest, and love, has rebuilt my health, my relationship with food and my body, and has been the most liberating experience of my life.
I feel free, and in control. I haven’t taken any medications for two years, and I continue to see my digestive system, thyroid, hormones and general health improve every day. I am able to enjoy food again like when I was a child!!
I stopped fighting with my body and trying to change it, instead I teamed up with my body and became my body’s best friend and advocate.
With all that searching and self-experimentation, I developed a great passion for nutrition, natural healing, and all the different aspects of true Nourishment as they relate to the Body, Mind and Spirit, and I began studies in Nutritional Medicine and Health Coaching.
I always knew that my purpose in life was to help others, but It wasn’t until I began to witness the healing power of the body, that I understood that I wanted to help others experience the same in themselves.
I witnessed the healing power of the body in my own self. My body started to heal by itself when i stopped ignoring myself and the needs of my body. I nourished by body, mind, and spirit properly and my body responded by healing because that is the nature of the body. We are designed to Heal, and to function a certain way.
After studying how the body works and learning nutritional Science I finally ended a long painful journey, but a journey that let me to where I am know. I journey with a Happy ending because now I am equipped to help YOU in overcoming your challenges with health, food and body.
My life’s purpose is to guide, empower, and help you befriend, heal, and create the body that you love like I did in my own life.
You don’t have to go through a long painful journey! I don’t recommend it. I am here to Guide you into a much easier way! I have created a Video where I take you to a shortcut to break free from diets, obsessions, confusion, counting calories, etc. and finally start losing weight easily. CLICK HERE
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