For years and years I made losing weight my biggest goal and priority. I was doing all the “right things” someone does to be thin. I put myself through starvation and burn-out.
I had accepted the pervasive myth that if I was thin, then I would be lovable, worthwhile and feel better about myself. And so, gaining weight was my biggest fear!
But one day, life put me in a situation where I had no choice but to let go of the illusion of losing weight to be happier.
I became very sick, my body was breaking down. My adrenals were almost shut, my digestive tract destroyed, I had gained about 30 pounds, and I was so debilitated that dieting and exercising weren’t even an option.
At that point having unwanted weight was the least of the problems. At that point I knew I had to focus on healing or I was not going to make it. At that point I had no choice but to deal with the real issues I had avoided for a very long time: self rejection and self hatred.
But, I am not trying to be dramatic here, the reason I share this with you is to make you see that you don’t need to get to those extremes before you start caring for yourself and loving yourself.
Why Can’t I lose weight?
Probably the most common question i get from clients, friends and Family.
So, you have done the dieting thing for quite a while. You tried eating less, you have counted calories, macros and controlled your portions. You even tried those weight loss pills and lotions that promised to get rid of your cellulite. I must confess, I did!
You have cleaned up your diet as much you can, you cut carbs, you eat your fruits and veggies, and even green smoothies!.
You tried to exercise more, worked yourself out to exhaustion, and none of that mattered because you still can’t lose weight!
Probably by now you are already even tired of trying. You realized that diets and exercise are not going to do it, and part of you wants to give up.
Deep inside, you really want to feel and look better, deep inside you still want to lose unwanted weight and a tiny part of you believes that somehow it has to be possible.
You just don’t what the heck to do now. Perhaps the only thing you know is that you are not willing to put yourself through dieting hell again.
So Now What?
First of all, if a little part of you believes that you still have a chance at weight loss, you are correct! In fact, you still have many more chances.
This might sound crazy to you, but when you have touched bottom, and nothing seems to work anymore, the only way out is to let it go! Let go of the illusion, that the problem is food, exercise, and your body.
Let go of the idea that if only you could lose weight or have a flat belly, then you would be happier with yourself, and everything else in your life will somehow be better.
Let it go, because that is just not true. I have seen it over and over again in my personal life and in the people I help.
Often times, the goal of losing weight is just a distraction, an excuse for not dealing with the real issues that cause our unhappiness and discontent with ourselves.
We fail at weight loss because we are not focusing on the right target. Real weight loss comes as a byproduct of something much deeper. Ultimately, it comes from Love and respect to yourself and who you are in the world.
The first time I heard this, I was about 20 years old. My wise mother repeatedly said that to me, and I just could not understand those words, I ignored them. it took me too many years, and a lot of miserable moments to get to this conclusion myself, and I am glad I did.
If you are not ready to hear this words , you might even stop reading my emails, and that’s ok. We all have our own timing.
Letting Go Doesn’t mean Giving Up
The reason why I encourage you to let go, is because I know it works, I know that something magical happens when you let go. It happened in my life and I have seen it happening in the lives of my clients who have been pursuing weight loss for a long time.
Here’s the important thing; letting go doesn’t mean to give up! It is not about abandoning yourself and your desire to feel and look better. It is not about letting yourself keep piling up the pounds, and eat whatever junk comes your way.
Letting go means giving yourself a break, it means to be compassionate with yourself and your body. It is understanding that you are much more than a Physical Body.
And here is the magic that happens when you give yourself a break: When you stop beating yourself up, you will relax! And when you relax your body feels safe, and when your body feels safe it will let go of unwanted weight. This is how your body works!
Of course there is more involved in losing weight like; digestion, hormones, eating habits, genetics, health condition, Stress, etc. , but this perhaps is the most important starting point, and what is going to straighten out everything else that is not working correctly.
Unconditional love for yourself is the strongest foundation for anything you want to achieve in life, weight loss included.
Our biggest obstacle is that we think the problem is food and our body. We must not be eating the right foods, in the right amount, or perhaps we are not exercising enough….. And while that may be true for some people, for many others it is not! We keep going around in never ending circles shooting at the wrong target.
So my suggestion to you is to Give yourself a Break, and look at what areas of your life you can inject self-love and compassion?
And if you think Self-love is a good idea but don’t have a clue what that looks like then, Stay tuned for a New Blog Series Called: How The Heck Do I Love Myself
Do you know someone who could benefit from reading this, why not share?